Clandestine Confessions

Our introduction to one another was at the rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding.
As the only two single people in the wedding party, we were seated beside each other at the same table as the bride and groom.
We hit it off immediately, the connection instantaneous.
Our conversation never skimmed the surface.
We went deep – quickly but not abruptly.
Effortlessly going back and forth for hours.
Talking about our dreams, fears, hopes, the experiences that shaped us.
–
“You know,” he said with a smirk. “This is generally when most people would discuss the weather.”
“Well,” I let out a little laugh as a thousand memories came flooding in. “I tried walking that road of normality once. Couldn’t understand the appeal – far too overrated. I vowed to never do it again.”
His smile got larger. His eyes got brighter. “Agreed.”
–
“So, your ideal life – what does it look like? No limits.”
He gazed towards the dessert table.
Contemplation marked his face.
“Going to try to say this without sounding corny, but truthfully, I am living it. I have a job that fills me with purpose. I live in a place where I can pursue my passions. I am surrounded by people who love and support me. And I am constantly in pursuit of my dreams. I couldn’t ask for more.”
Had this been a date, that answer would have earned us a second.
–
One who has the courage to live alive impresses me.
They are rarer than you think.
Because it is their zest that has a ripple effect on those they meet.
Inspiring others to pursue their own adventure to awakening.
Calling to their bravery to go out in the world and be.
See.
Feel.
They leave people better than they found them.
As he did me.
–
Please just know what you are about to witness from me in the days, months, years to come was birthed from this one encounter.
For I walked away determined to offer his same answer one day.
To speak from fullness, not from hunger.
To share a life of doing, not of desiring.
To represent living in contentment, not in longing.
–
And perhaps one day I will be given the opportunity to thank him.
But in the meantime, I will continue to tend to the fire he sparked in me.
And let it catch like wildfire.
Setting the world ablaze.
Lighting up every place these feet touch and every person these words reach.
May the darkness tremble in the awareness I am no longer a dead woman walking.
But alive.
So abundantly alive….