illicit affairs
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no longer homesick…
“So, you have been here about a year now. Planning on leaving again soon?” The member was standing at the desk in the studio back in May when he asked. I always look forward to his arrival – 7:48am on the dot every weekday. He allots himself a few extra minutes for him and I Continue reading
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had i never saved myself…
“Can I buy you a drink?”I stood at the table in the underground bar, observing all the couples, refraining from holding back any expression of sadness when a voice grabbed my attention.I looked up to lock my tear-filled eyes with an older gentleman.Was he being kind, or did I look like I needed one that Continue reading
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ignoring the warning signs…
“Oh no no no….this cannot be happening.”My car, still only equipped for the east coast weather, stopped on an incline.The heavily snow-coated streets on that early March evening, plowed only an hour before, an unfair component against my tires.How could something so delicate, so peaceful have the power to wreak such havoc?Vehicles were front of Continue reading
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the worst 30th birthday…
My birthdays have a track record for being notoriously painful.Always felt more like I should be grieving than celebrating.To be begging to die while living in a day that marked another year of life was mentally torturous.Seemed like the world was mocking me.Five of my birthdays were spent in treatment.The relapse starting always at the Continue reading
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rebelling against normalcy…
I had a *former* boyfriend once tell me my urge to travel simply comes from my need to constantly be running – being unable to settle.(Let me say though there is a difference between not wanting to settle and not wanting to be domesticated…)He said it was driven by me simply wishing to escape – Continue reading
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love at the overlook…
I was watching the sunset at an overlook in Smokey Mountains National Park.I had told a friend recently my deep love for sunrises and sunsets; the “why” to the admiration I hold for them.He suggested I make it my “thing” in life to see them in every state.So there I was…–However, on that day it Continue reading
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the runaway bride…
Someone once told me he preferred my hair long.To cut it would be like chopping off the trunk of a vehicle (his exact words).“Why ruin what is perfectly fine as is?” he said to me while sitting in his car in my driveway.A few days after that conversation I cut my hair.Nothing drastic.Just enough to Continue reading
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returning the ring…
It was at a rest stop in Oregon on August 29 – my halfway point from Spokane, Washington to somewhere to be determined in Utah – when it began.I laid in my back seat unable to sleep – kept awake by the adrenaline of living an authentic life.A euphoric energy that had me blissfully running Continue reading
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the wedding that never was…
I had different plans for my 8/28 in 2021 than the one that played out.I had put it on my calendar a few years ago.I held onto the vision – even when everything in life pointed in the opposite direction.Even when it seemed like an impossibility. Even with the odds stacked against it.Against us….–A glimmer Continue reading
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regaining the life i gave away…
The hardest part of the ending of my “relationship” in 2021 was not the loss of the person.That actually became the easiest aspect of it all.Facing betrayal with eyes wide open, not blinded by the illusion of love, will do that to you.The more you see, the less you need.–The most difficult part was the Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 