mental health
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the avalanche released…
“Do you have any siblings?”He casually asked me back in February in between sips of his beer.Leaning back in the booth, settling in comfortably to our temporary location.We were at a bar in Park City waiting for our dinner reservation.He had just shared a story about his brother.The question was expected.–“I have an older brother.”I Continue reading
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following in her footsteps…
I had just gotten into my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot.There to pick up quintessential items for my guest: pickles, frozen pizza, and a broom.It was one of the most life giving carts.One I filled up while listening to a customized playlist I made for him that would play throughout his visit.It is always Continue reading
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living for life…
We were in his kitchen.I stopped by on my way to dinner to drop off the sleeping bag he lent me a couple days prior.“In the event you feel a pull to follow your heart’s desire of sleeping in your car,” he said with a smirk when he handed it to me.He knew I already Continue reading
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breaking out of anonymity…
I was 11 years old when I received my first official diagnosis.After silently suffering three years prior with a mental and emotional turmoil I had no idea even had a name.I sat in the chair of my pediatrician’s office, the same one I claimed since I was a toddler, as she would speak the words Continue reading
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my silence a deafening sound…
We were driving home from dinner in Park City when the song started playing.Ever so quietly heard in the slight pause of our conversation.“Agnes” by Glass Animals.One of the most tragically beautiful songs I have ever heard.There has never been a time of listening to it when I have not cried.Tonight was no exception.The tears Continue reading
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party of two…
“The menus are customized for you.”He looks down.“S—- : Party of 2” written on the top left.“Ha. Definitely a first.”“At what point will we acknowledge we may be a bit in over our heads?” I half-jokingly asked.“Never. We earned this moment of life.”“That we have…” my sentence trailed off as his words sunk into my Continue reading
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the burger of my redemption…
As soon as we got in his car, he turned our seat warmers on.Mine and then his.“I know how much I love it so I figured you may want it on too. Please feel free to turn it off if not.”“No, it is perfect. Thank you.”There were so many emotionally defining moments in this evening, Continue reading
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the burger of my demise…
It was January 2011.A little less than three weeks into my hospital stay.Closing out the first few days on the floor I was transferred to after the ICU.–I was still in a wheelchair.Still relearning how to walk.Still practicing handling my body weight.Which meant that any incident that required sitting down or standing up, a nurse Continue reading
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difficult but not impossible…
“Oh, my Jenna, what did you do?” He sat there skimming through my records sent over by the other hospital. Those numbers and stats in which I took pride breaking his heart. I never could have imagined the ripple effect my quest would have – the cost not only that I would pay but others Continue reading
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when trauma meets its redemption…
Every Wednesday at 10:30AM was cooking class at the inpatient facility.I remember that mostly because I still get anxious when the clock hands hit the 10 and 6 every week.Subconsciously so.Trauma is a tricky thing.–There were a few classes out of the umpteen I took in the 12 years of being a “revolving door” patient Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 