anorexia
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party of two…
“The menus are customized for you.”He looks down.“S—- : Party of 2” written on the top left.“Ha. Definitely a first.”“At what point will we acknowledge we may be a bit in over our heads?” I half-jokingly asked.“Never. We earned this moment of life.”“That we have…” my sentence trailed off as his words sunk into my… Continue reading
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dessert before dinner always…
“Reservations are slim. Want to do 9:30 on Wednesday?”It was the text I received on the evening of Valentine’s Day.While at my Airbnb watching “Inventing Anna” and eating my favorite sandwich from Maverick.He and I had begun making plans the day before to go to a restaurant in Park City where his friend is a… Continue reading
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the burger of my redemption…
As soon as we got in his car, he turned our seat warmers on.Mine and then his.“I know how much I love it so I figured you may want it on too. Please feel free to turn it off if not.”“No, it is perfect. Thank you.”There were so many emotionally defining moments in this evening,… Continue reading
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the burger of my demise…
It was January 2011.A little less than three weeks into my hospital stay.Closing out the first few days on the floor I was transferred to after the ICU.–I was still in a wheelchair.Still relearning how to walk.Still practicing handling my body weight.Which meant that any incident that required sitting down or standing up, a nurse… Continue reading
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when trauma meets its redemption…
Every Wednesday at 10:30AM was cooking class at the inpatient facility.I remember that mostly because I still get anxious when the clock hands hit the 10 and 6 every week.Subconsciously so.Trauma is a tricky thing.–There were a few classes out of the umpteen I took in the 12 years of being a “revolving door” patient… Continue reading
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the suitcase…
I was packing my suitcase for my road trip when it hit me.The overwhelming realization that the last time I packed for this length of time was seven and a half years ago.Traveling north to a place to get my life back.And here I am embarking on a trip to make the most of that… Continue reading
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the wounds discovered…
What had become of me? Abused and used. Scarred and scared. Beaten and broken. Wounds covered me – internally and externally. One a consequence of the other. A gaping gash in my heart bleeding out my dreams, my desires, my trust, my safety. The cuts on my arm a plea to stop feeling. – My… Continue reading
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the knight becomes the enemy…
There is this sweatshirt in my closet. About three times too big for my body. I did that intentionally. – My one ex hated it. I mean despised it. Told me just how much every time I wore it. “You cannot keep covering up with this. How will you live out the butterfly effect if… Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 