blog
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my silence a deafening sound…
We were driving home from dinner in Park City when the song started playing.Ever so quietly heard in the slight pause of our conversation.“Agnes” by Glass Animals.One of the most tragically beautiful songs I have ever heard.There has never been a time of listening to it when I have not cried.Tonight was no exception.The tears Continue reading
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party of two…
“The menus are customized for you.”He looks down.“S—- : Party of 2” written on the top left.“Ha. Definitely a first.”“At what point will we acknowledge we may be a bit in over our heads?” I half-jokingly asked.“Never. We earned this moment of life.”“That we have…” my sentence trailed off as his words sunk into my Continue reading
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the view that led me home…
“So, what brought you back here? I thought you were really vibing with Colorado.”I was sitting in my car at Rocky Mountain National Park when I sent him an S.O.S text over the summer – needing more suggestions of places to go out west to extend my stay.I never wanted to leave.“I did love it Continue reading
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better to begin a hundred times…
The Worm Moon.I saw an article today about its imminent arrival.This was the second time I ever heard about such a thing.The first being February 2021 – while driving to dinner with a friend.I was gazing in awe at the full moon glowing brightly between the mountains, lighting up the landscape ahead of us.“I do Continue reading
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dessert before dinner always…
“Reservations are slim. Want to do 9:30 on Wednesday?”It was the text I received on the evening of Valentine’s Day.While at my Airbnb watching “Inventing Anna” and eating my favorite sandwich from Maverick.He and I had begun making plans the day before to go to a restaurant in Park City where his friend is a Continue reading
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the burger of my redemption…
As soon as we got in his car, he turned our seat warmers on.Mine and then his.“I know how much I love it so I figured you may want it on too. Please feel free to turn it off if not.”“No, it is perfect. Thank you.”There were so many emotionally defining moments in this evening, Continue reading
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the burger of my demise…
It was January 2011.A little less than three weeks into my hospital stay.Closing out the first few days on the floor I was transferred to after the ICU.–I was still in a wheelchair.Still relearning how to walk.Still practicing handling my body weight.Which meant that any incident that required sitting down or standing up, a nurse Continue reading
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the birthday of redemption…
“What do you think about me spending my birthday in Utah?”It was the text I sent my friend in January 2021.Sitting in my usual Starbucks in Fairfax, sipping my cold brew, laptop in front of me with a tab already open to an airline site, my road trip playlist playing through my headphones.“Living in the Continue reading
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the worst 30th birthday…
My birthdays have a track record for being notoriously painful.Always felt more like I should be grieving than celebrating.To be begging to die while living in a day that marked another year of life was mentally torturous.Seemed like the world was mocking me.Five of my birthdays were spent in treatment.The relapse starting always at the Continue reading
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rebelling against normalcy…
I had a *former* boyfriend once tell me my urge to travel simply comes from my need to constantly be running – being unable to settle.(Let me say though there is a difference between not wanting to settle and not wanting to be domesticated…)He said it was driven by me simply wishing to escape – Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 