breakups
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a love that keeps me holding on…
“Believe me when I say this, I was giving up but now you come and save me…”–I was holding it together (somewhat) until that lyric.The one that spoke my truth, as if SYML had once read the pages of my heart.They are the words I lived, the ones I made real.The privilege of a lifetime Continue reading
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the love that makes you better…
I went to a concert last fall that was to be a proclamation of a healing heart, an ode to a chapter of a love story I once had the immense privilege to write.It turned into a night well felt – my eyes red and swollen long into the following day.I expected it to carry Continue reading
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a glass wall is still a barrier…
“Outside! Outside now! Now!”The words the Pilates studio owner excitedly exclaimed at me as she came running inside.I immediately got up from my seat at the computer, mid text to a member trying to schedule a class, wondering what could possibly be this urgent.I was mentally preparing for the worst…or weirdest…As I got closer, she Continue reading
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the last phone call…
March 30, 2015.The day that would unknowingly become the last time I ever heard my sister’s voice.I called to wish her a happy birthday.Which turned into a few hours of her and I catching up on life, her making me laugh, us discussing our plans for when she would be in Tampa a few weeks Continue reading
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following in her footsteps…
I had just gotten into my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot.There to pick up quintessential items for my guest: pickles, frozen pizza, and a broom.It was one of the most life giving carts.One I filled up while listening to a customized playlist I made for him that would play throughout his visit.It is always Continue reading
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the worst 30th birthday…
My birthdays have a track record for being notoriously painful.Always felt more like I should be grieving than celebrating.To be begging to die while living in a day that marked another year of life was mentally torturous.Seemed like the world was mocking me.Five of my birthdays were spent in treatment.The relapse starting always at the Continue reading
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rebelling against normalcy…
I had a *former* boyfriend once tell me my urge to travel simply comes from my need to constantly be running – being unable to settle.(Let me say though there is a difference between not wanting to settle and not wanting to be domesticated…)He said it was driven by me simply wishing to escape – Continue reading
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love at the overlook…
I was watching the sunset at an overlook in Smokey Mountains National Park.I had told a friend recently my deep love for sunrises and sunsets; the “why” to the admiration I hold for them.He suggested I make it my “thing” in life to see them in every state.So there I was…–However, on that day it Continue reading
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the runaway bride…
Someone once told me he preferred my hair long.To cut it would be like chopping off the trunk of a vehicle (his exact words).“Why ruin what is perfectly fine as is?” he said to me while sitting in his car in my driveway.A few days after that conversation I cut my hair.Nothing drastic.Just enough to Continue reading
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a spirit stuck in time…
We were sitting on his deck eating peanut butter cookies (I have tried and failed countless times to find cookies back home nearly as good as those).I was sipping on the coffee he made me upon arriving at his house.He and I were discussing the correlation of the beehive and Utah – narrowing it down Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 