depression
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when heart healing became heart breaking…
I was not intending on speaking about this chapter of my life until the book, and I stated as such in my last writing about this man. Largely because I thought it would be the purpose of the book – the catalyst to the “happily ever after.” I was most convinced I was swiftly approaching… Continue reading
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when a lonely mind hijacks the pursuit of love…
“Thank you for knowing to never let yourself go.” That “compliment” was my alarm clock this morning. Loudly, obnoxiously, painfully jolting me out of my half-asleep state. It has been five and a half years since it was last spoken to me. Yet today, for reasons I am trying to sort through, it wanted to… Continue reading
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the wounds that deemed me unworthy to be a wife…
I was sixteen years old when the question was asked. My sleeve rolled up ever so slightly while scooping out the mashed potatoes from the pot into a scalloped ceramic bowl, one suitable to sit at the dining room table with us – a table adorned with a fancy lace tablecloth and lit auburn candles… Continue reading
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to love and to die – it all felt the same to me…
“I am scared to let you return home,” she said to me. We were sitting on the porch swing of her AirBnB. Three hours ago we were embracing one another for the first time in over ten years. This was not the version of me I wanted her to see after all this time, but… Continue reading
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lovestruck or delusional…?
“I am not who you think I am.” He released his grip on my hand to turn down the volume as he spoke. Michael Learns to Rock now a barely audible hum in the background of a conversation that arrived so abruptly my mind did not fully comprehend what was happening. • We were ten… Continue reading
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when what once kept me alive became what I had to survive…
An ex-boyfriend recently got married. He did in three months what was discussed twice over the course of our two years together. That is a blame I cannot put all on him, though. I take ownership over that fate for us. • I am generous to say this man had one romantic bone in his… Continue reading
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more of a prophecy than a memory…
“I could see that for myself,” I said. Nearly in a whisper. Part of me petrified to speak it out loud and admit the undeniable pull I have been feeling to “settle down” a bit.Not in spirit. I will never allow that to happen again.Nor will I ever choose people to demand that of me… Continue reading
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the only man to receive her approval…
“So, if no cornhole yet, could I encourage you to do at least one small thing for your enjoyment? Maybe just take an evening to yourself with a good drink, taking in the scenery on your balcony.”I have sent him a few videos of my view, knowing full well New Jersey is not offering mountains… Continue reading
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in a time machine of emotions…
“Well, the big life update question is have you played corn hole yet?”I let out a laugh.I think of him every single time I walk past it at work; the smile that coincides with the thought’s presence sure to give away to anyone watching I am smitten by a memory…or person…or both.And when the prospects… Continue reading
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the plot twist i never saw coming…
9:32pm.A quick tap on my phone revealed this indicator that I was close to being able to say I endured another day.•Endure (verb); to suffer patiently, to experience and deal with something that is painful or unpleasant without giving up.Synonyms: bear, tolerate, withstand, face up to•There are countless other words I could have placed in… Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 