love
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the first love…
It was March 2003 – the 7th to be exact.A date I remember well because my then boyfriend included it in his screenname very soon after asking me to be his girlfriend – mini(his name)3703.And now I sit here crying, heart melting into a puddle as I reflect on that little gesture.Even having just taken… Continue reading
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following in her footsteps…
I had just gotten into my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot.There to pick up quintessential items for my guest: pickles, frozen pizza, and a broom.It was one of the most life giving carts.One I filled up while listening to a customized playlist I made for him that would play throughout his visit.It is always… Continue reading
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living for life…
We were in his kitchen.I stopped by on my way to dinner to drop off the sleeping bag he lent me a couple days prior.“In the event you feel a pull to follow your heart’s desire of sleeping in your car,” he said with a smirk when he handed it to me.He knew I already… Continue reading
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my silence a deafening sound…
We were driving home from dinner in Park City when the song started playing.Ever so quietly heard in the slight pause of our conversation.“Agnes” by Glass Animals.One of the most tragically beautiful songs I have ever heard.There has never been a time of listening to it when I have not cried.Tonight was no exception.The tears… Continue reading
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party of two…
“The menus are customized for you.”He looks down.“S—- : Party of 2” written on the top left.“Ha. Definitely a first.”“At what point will we acknowledge we may be a bit in over our heads?” I half-jokingly asked.“Never. We earned this moment of life.”“That we have…” my sentence trailed off as his words sunk into my… Continue reading
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the view that led me home…
“So, what brought you back here? I thought you were really vibing with Colorado.”I was sitting in my car at Rocky Mountain National Park when I sent him an S.O.S text over the summer – needing more suggestions of places to go out west to extend my stay.I never wanted to leave.“I did love it… Continue reading
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dessert before dinner always…
“Reservations are slim. Want to do 9:30 on Wednesday?”It was the text I received on the evening of Valentine’s Day.While at my Airbnb watching “Inventing Anna” and eating my favorite sandwich from Maverick.He and I had begun making plans the day before to go to a restaurant in Park City where his friend is a… Continue reading
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the birthday of redemption…
“What do you think about me spending my birthday in Utah?”It was the text I sent my friend in January 2021.Sitting in my usual Starbucks in Fairfax, sipping my cold brew, laptop in front of me with a tab already open to an airline site, my road trip playlist playing through my headphones.“Living in the… Continue reading
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the worst 30th birthday…
My birthdays have a track record for being notoriously painful.Always felt more like I should be grieving than celebrating.To be begging to die while living in a day that marked another year of life was mentally torturous.Seemed like the world was mocking me.Five of my birthdays were spent in treatment.The relapse starting always at the… Continue reading
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love at the overlook…
I was watching the sunset at an overlook in Smokey Mountains National Park.I had told a friend recently my deep love for sunrises and sunsets; the “why” to the admiration I hold for them.He suggested I make it my “thing” in life to see them in every state.So there I was…–However, on that day it… Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 