trauma
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for the one…
“Is it hard to do it?” he asked, standing with his back against the windowsill in my bedroom. The desk, now upright, in front of him. We were both blissfully ignoring the fact it kept moving back down on its own – mutually agreeing it was a tomorrow issue for future J to handle. The Continue reading
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caught in the avalanche of a heart unhindered…
“I need to find a way to top your birthday gift!” I said to him while standing at my counter. It was a topic of fixation for the past month. I was most (fearfully) certain that he was going to leave right after the successful completion of the desk. To see him walk to his Continue reading
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bringing me out of hiding…
“It’s toasty in here.” It was his first words walking through the door of my apartment. I immediately began laughing and took a mental note to call my dad tomorrow to tell him the good news. It was another sign pointing to a match made in heaven…even if only in my own mind…(I feel like Continue reading
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a visit from my sister…
I was sitting on my couch watching a Nicholas Sparks movie last night when I was overcome with this longing for my sister. “Roods, I need you. More than ever.” I followed it up with a prayer to see her. It is the same one that I speak every night before bed. “God, please bring Continue reading
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no longer homesick…
“So, you have been here about a year now. Planning on leaving again soon?” The member was standing at the desk in the studio back in May when he asked. I always look forward to his arrival – 7:48am on the dot every weekday. He allots himself a few extra minutes for him and I Continue reading
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i’m just a little unwell…
There exists a video from March 2021 of me in an oversized sweatshirt and plaid pajama pants. Dancing and singing to Matchbox Twenty in my living room. The image I curated for the world to see that evening was intentional, methodical, deceptive… Display the fictitious woman seemingly full of life and joy to throw everyone Continue reading
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laying (almost) all my cards out on the table…
He had one card left in his hand – about to win his fourth game of the night.The clock was quickly approaching midnight. The events of the last hour were a spur of the moment decision. At some point amidst our conversation on Halsey two decks of cards started being dealt – different motives of Continue reading
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finding perfection in imperfection…
A few days ago I burnt my toast.Charred would be a more appropriate word for what it became…My neglect of the bread a result of being too invested in my daily kitchen dance party.“With You” by Jessica Simpson my song of choice – love was on the mind.And then my sunny side up eggs, seemingly Continue reading
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revealing my deepest regret…
“John Mayer is on tour.”My friend said it completely out of nowhere. No context. Nothing said before it to make those words fit into the conversation. Zero external signs to point to this being the next topic of discussion.But mind you, I caught her completely off guard that morning in the studio with his visit.It Continue reading
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so, what now…?
“So what have you been up to?”This would be the first of three times he would ask me in 30 minutes.Reminiscent of a date I once had when the boy continuously, over the course of the hour we were at a fair, asked if I wanted to ride the ferris wheel (even though my answer Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 