trauma
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the wedding that never was…
I had different plans for my 8/28 in 2021 than the one that played out.I had put it on my calendar a few years ago.I held onto the vision – even when everything in life pointed in the opposite direction.Even when it seemed like an impossibility. Even with the odds stacked against it.Against us….–A glimmer Continue reading
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when trauma meets its redemption…
Every Wednesday at 10:30AM was cooking class at the inpatient facility.I remember that mostly because I still get anxious when the clock hands hit the 10 and 6 every week.Subconsciously so.Trauma is a tricky thing.–There were a few classes out of the umpteen I took in the 12 years of being a “revolving door” patient Continue reading
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regaining the life i gave away…
The hardest part of the ending of my “relationship” in 2021 was not the loss of the person.That actually became the easiest aspect of it all.Facing betrayal with eyes wide open, not blinded by the illusion of love, will do that to you.The more you see, the less you need.–The most difficult part was the Continue reading
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a thousand failed attempts to reach home…
The last writing left off on the realization while preparing for my road trip that the last time I packed for such an extended period of time was when going to treatment in 2014.Those two events may seem drastically different, but they shared common causes.–To heal.To aid in the becoming of my most authentic self.To Continue reading
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the suitcase…
I was packing my suitcase for my road trip when it hit me.The overwhelming realization that the last time I packed for this length of time was seven and a half years ago.Traveling north to a place to get my life back.And here I am embarking on a trip to make the most of that Continue reading
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his proposal to another…
I was sitting in a Starbucks when I received the text.Drinking my second cold brew refill of the day, writing and dreaming and basking in the excitement of my departure just a few days away.I saw my phone light up next to my laptop.I looked down to see the name on my phone and immediately Continue reading
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saying yes to his invitation…
I took him up on his invitation to visit Utah a few months after the wedding to celebrate (and bring redemption to) my 8/28.Further explanation to come on why that date…_My trip was originally just going to be to that one state.I would fly there and explore for a week.But I remember one evening sitting Continue reading
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the first meeting…
Our introduction to one another was at the rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding.As the only two single people in the wedding party, we were seated beside each other at the same table as the bride and groom.We hit it off immediately, the connection instantaneous.Our conversation never skimmed the surface.We went deep – quickly Continue reading
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the dance…
“Would you like to dance?” he asked with one arm outstretched towards me, the other behind his back.I had been saving this life experience, my first slow dance with a man, for a specific someone.It was to be an act of redemption for an experience that passed us by twelve years ago at that point Continue reading
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outrunning the memories…
I was trying to outrun the memories.Reach the end of this journey before they caught up to stop me on my mission to full freedom.But I was losing ground.The space that was forming between us grew smaller.The panic set in as I watched them get closer.More visible.More tangible.More real.Fighting to no longer remain a prisoner Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 