anorexia
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breaking all my rules…
“So, this is my new favorite chocolate. And Andrew Garfield loves it too.”“Haha. Is that how you heard about it?”“No, I learned that after the fact. I was just roaming the aisles of Harmons one day looking for something new. But it certainly helps my claim of being the best!”It was one of a few Continue reading
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the right arm’s redemption…
I would only ever self harm on my right arm – restricted to the inner forearm.I do not hide the scars.Nor do I intentionally show them.I will explain them if asked – which only one person ever has – very recently.After I let that secret part of my story be brought to the light when Continue reading
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when i knew…
“I was 12 when I first realized I wanted to be a writer.”We were waiting on our food to arrive, catching up on the happenings of our lives since we last saw each other.Even the simplest of conversations captivating my thoughts into stillness.A mind undivided, unforced to pick a side.No tug of war to pull Continue reading
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living for life…
We were in his kitchen.I stopped by on my way to dinner to drop off the sleeping bag he lent me a couple days prior.“In the event you feel a pull to follow your heart’s desire of sleeping in your car,” he said with a smirk when he handed it to me.He knew I already Continue reading
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breaking out of anonymity…
I was 11 years old when I received my first official diagnosis.After silently suffering three years prior with a mental and emotional turmoil I had no idea even had a name.I sat in the chair of my pediatrician’s office, the same one I claimed since I was a toddler, as she would speak the words Continue reading
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my silence a deafening sound…
We were driving home from dinner in Park City when the song started playing.Ever so quietly heard in the slight pause of our conversation.“Agnes” by Glass Animals.One of the most tragically beautiful songs I have ever heard.There has never been a time of listening to it when I have not cried.Tonight was no exception.The tears Continue reading
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party of two…
“The menus are customized for you.”He looks down.“S—- : Party of 2” written on the top left.“Ha. Definitely a first.”“At what point will we acknowledge we may be a bit in over our heads?” I half-jokingly asked.“Never. We earned this moment of life.”“That we have…” my sentence trailed off as his words sunk into my Continue reading
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dessert before dinner always…
“Reservations are slim. Want to do 9:30 on Wednesday?”It was the text I received on the evening of Valentine’s Day.While at my Airbnb watching “Inventing Anna” and eating my favorite sandwich from Maverick.He and I had begun making plans the day before to go to a restaurant in Park City where his friend is a Continue reading
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the burger of my redemption…
As soon as we got in his car, he turned our seat warmers on.Mine and then his.“I know how much I love it so I figured you may want it on too. Please feel free to turn it off if not.”“No, it is perfect. Thank you.”There were so many emotionally defining moments in this evening, Continue reading
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the burger of my demise…
It was January 2011.A little less than three weeks into my hospital stay.Closing out the first few days on the floor I was transferred to after the ICU.–I was still in a wheelchair.Still relearning how to walk.Still practicing handling my body weight.Which meant that any incident that required sitting down or standing up, a nurse Continue reading
About Me
I am a woman on a mission to turn her pain into purpose using her passion for writing. This blog is the journey of my becoming, excerpts from the pages of my book of life – the good and bad and everything in between – written with the intent to heal, to guide, to inspire…
I write to document the tale of a heroine slaying every dragon that comes her way for she knows she is the only one who can save herself.
I write to tell the story of a woman brought back to life; a chronicle of rebirth to show the power of hope and redemption.
I write to give meaning to every yes spoken – whether in shouts or whispers, in fear or bravery.
I write to share with the world the story of what happens when one believes in the beauty of a better tomorrow. What happens when one refuses to settle for anything less than butterflies. What happens when a mere spark you defiantly declined to let go out ignites into an inferno.
I write to open the eyes of all those who feel like the victim in their own story to see that they are not helpless or damaged or weak. They are in control. They have everything within to become the victor.
I write to speak life into the grieving to allow words laced in truth and love to mend the wounds inhibiting the heart from moving forward.
I write for the invisible to feel seen. I write to lead us all on the journey to the happily ever after….it is waiting to be lived by each of us <3
Clandestine Confessions 